We live in a time where separations and divorces have become all the more common. In fact, many argue that it has become more likely for marriages to end, rather than lasting throughout both husband and wife’s entire life. In some cases, those who are supposed to help the couple through difficult times, actually cause more damage. In certain circumstances, parents may be one of the major causes for the marital breakdown, due to excessive intrusion in personal matters. In this article, we will discuss how parents can destroy marriages.
Intrusion in financial matters
Parents may deem it wise and beneficial to share their opinions and views on financial matters, due to their experience. Whilst there is nothing wrong with sharing views, problems arise when parents impose these opinions, especially if the husband or wife are in complete disagreement. Such financial intrusion may extend to whether one should change his job, buy a house or any other investment decision. This intrusion makes one feel uneasy in a relationship and is likely to bring about conflict within the marriage. Done over an extended period of time, this can lead to separation, especially when considering that one of the spouses may feel that the other prioritises his or her parents more.
Intrusion in child upbringing
Parents may also intrude in child upbringing. They might take it against the couple for raising their children in a way they disagree with. Such examples may include instances of when children should be disciplined, whether they can be allowed to go out and frequent certain places and also in some cases, where they must be sent to school. A married couple might have pressure or resistance from parents to send their children to private or state schools, depending on opinions and experience.
Conflicts within marital relationships are common. It is a normal phase of the process and can actually lead to good solutions if managed well. With that said, the conflict might spiral out of control if parents get involved and take sides. The natural inclination would be for parents to take the side and support their own son or daughter, however, if this is taken to an extreme, it will do more harm than good. Conflict should be settled between spouses with minimal interference.
Lack of acceptance
Problems may also arise if one of the spouses feels that he or she is not fully accepted by the other spouse’s parents. This may be due to a variety of reasons such as background, knowledge, social class and behaviour. Whatever the reason, a lack of acceptance piles pressure on a relationship, which may lead to its end.
What are your views on this? Do you have any other comments you would like to share?