How to Kill your Wife and Maybe Get Away with it

You clicked on this, didn’t you? Oh boy, most probably you are now top on the police’s list, let’s hope you don’t try anything funny! In this article, we will be mentioning some ways, how you can kill your wife, metaphorically of course! We do this by mentioning stuff which makes her angry.

Checking out a hottie

Me? Surely not! Yeah right! Might as well admit it and stop playing pretend. She caught you red-handed scanning her from head to toe and she did not like it one bit.

Asking what’s for dinner

You both had a busy day at the office and are feeling drained on the living room couch. You roll your eyes and ask her, “What’s for dinner hon?” You can easily expect a look of disgust, if you are lucky. On a worse day you will be told exactly where to go.

Sorry what?

Nothing really matches the anger of an ignored wife. The few minutes you have decided to steer away in some of your own thoughts, you immediately become an inconsiderate bast… who never listens.

Assuming it’s that time of the month

She is in one of those moods. She starts talking to you about her day and all her problems. Expecting you to be the shoulder that she could cry on, you remark irritably at her, asking her if she is on her period. My friend you should run.

The house is a mess

You arrive at home from work and you are greeted by your lovely wife. Instead of having the decency of asking her how the day went, you implore that the house is a mess and that nothing is organised. You are asking for trouble. God be with you!

Working late again

Sometimes our job will require us to work long hours, beyond the usual. With that said, your wife is not likely to take kindly to regularly long hours at the office. There is something called burden sharing and work-life balance. Remember?

Telling her she gained a few pounds

Thought it would only be right to save the worst for last. Having the guts or the sheer stupidity of telling your wife that she has gotten, chubbier, fuller or fatter means delving into some very murky waters.

Try a few of these and might as well practise sleeping on the couch. You will need to get used to it! Haha

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